Mrs. Hold has an amazing opportunity. As most of you know, she had cancer last year. Surgery. Chemo. Radiation. The whole ugly intrusive course of medicine. But it seems to have worked. She has a scan in a few weeks that will hopefully show no signs of cancer.

A good female friend of hers just got divorced. Part of her settlement was a bunch of frequent flyer miles that expire at the end of December. She invited Mrs. Hold to go on an expensive vacation paid for with the expiring miles.

Mrs. Hold loves to travel. I can't afford to take her on lots of fancy trips and when we weren't getting along so well I did not enjoy going alone with her so for a number of years we only went away with the kids. She is really excited about going.

She discussed it with me and at first I was opposed. You know, all the MB things about time together and protection against cheating and all that. The friend is not a "party girl" but she is recently divorced and might be looking for some positive affirmations. She is available and Mrs. Hold isn't. And guys are going to circle around two attractive unattached females.

Then again, the trip is in December and that is my busy season at work and Mrs. H and I don't see much of each other that month anyway. So a couple of weeks of her having fun and me bearing down at work is not such a bad idea.

We had a long talk about situations and protecting yourself. Similar to the talk we had with D19. I told D19 "never leave a party alone with a boy unless you intend to have sex with him, because once he gets you alone late at night he might not take no for an answer - especially if you both have been drinking." So I told Mrs. H no getting walked back to her hotel room. Take an Uber and no sharing with him. If he is staying in the same hotel, do not get in the same elevator alone. Make up an excuse why you need a bellhop to come to your room and go to the font desk and get one. She looked at me like I am crazy to think she would cheat or that she has any interest in another man. I told her it is not her level of interest that worries me, it is his.

Finally, I told her: if anything happens, I do NOT want to know. That is a secret you take to your grave. Do not feel entitled to unburden your conscience at my expense. You did the crime, you do the time by having it eat away at you ever waking moment of every day for the rest of your life. I told her that seems like a fair punishment to me.

I am so torn about whether I am being a fabulous husband by letting her go or being a wimpy doormat.


Solutions? There are none. There are decisions.