The amazingly beautiful lady writers of MA present to you the glossary of terms as written by their soft and feminine hands ~

Newbie - Newly registered and posting member who may, or may not have forum experience.

Wayward Spouse - A spouse who is engaged in an affair/infidelity; either actively engaged in the affair or still displaying the mindset of cheating

Betrayed Spouse - The spouse who is being cheated on or left unexpectedly

Walkaway Spouse - A spouse who has decided to leave the marriage rather than remain and work on the marriage/restore the marriage. Walkaways leave because they are mightily dissatisfied with the marriage for reasons other than infidelity--neglect, spouse's addiction, abuse, or other chronic problems.

The Script - The common mindset, reactions, justifications that most wayward spouses employ to avoid taking responsibility or dealing with their choices; ex."I love you but am not in love with you"' "our marriage was dead anyway", "if you tell anyone I will leave"

Exposure - Telling others about the spouse's affair in an effort to stop the affair

Limbo - A state of inaction and indecision; when the betrayed spouse is still hoping the wayward spouse will come back but is afraid to take any definitive action that might cause that to happen; the time during which the wayward or walkaway spouse if still absent from the marriage and the betrayed spouse is fearful of '€śrocking the boat'

Gaslighting - Form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim with the intent of making them doubt their own memory and perception.

180 - Concept developed by MWD stating LBS change behaviour 180 degrees; in other words, stop doing what you were doing and change the behavior to achieve more positive results

Emotional need - Concept developed by Dr. Willard Harley to define the basic needs that each spouse may have in a marriage, such as conversation, affection, recreational companionship, sexual fulfillment, etc. Can be found in the book His Needs, Her Needs

Moderator
- Members who over see Marriage Advocates in a protective role. Duties include: editing posts for spelling, unintentional 'TMI', personal attacks, and adherence to the rules on the protected boards. Deserves chocolate and hugs.

Administrator
- Referee, lightning rod, and target. Staunch defender of the rules, while always being diplomatic. Exhausting sometimes. Deserve cookies and free pizza

Ambassador
- Title acknowledging members who have contributed to Marriage Advocates by volunteering and completing work in marketing, and content. Duties include welcoming newbies, and directing them to resources.

Family of origin
- The family in which a person was raised or spent most of his/her formative years

GAL (Get a Life) - A concept developed by the author of the Divorce Busters site in which the betrayed spouse takes care of himself/herself, improves himself/herself, and engages other people in friendship and activities rather than giving in to the depression and anxiety of the affair situation

Cake eating - When a wayward spouse attempts to keep the betrayed spouse 'on a string' while also engaging in the affair; based on the idea of having your cake and eating it too

Fence sitting
- When a spouse will not make a decision, i.e. will not go ahead and either commit to or leave the marriage, end and affair, etc. Fence sitting can be done by either spouse or both.

Personal recovery - The individual recovery that each spouse goes through regardless of whether or not the marriage is saved

Marital recovery
- the process of healing a marriage following a single event or long period of damage, i.e. infidelity, addiction, neglect. Wounds are still healing, trust is sometimes shaken, but you are moving toward a healthier marriage

Restored Marriage
- When the marriage has healed from whatever situation that's has jeopardized it, i.e. infidelity, addiction, neglect, etc. Generally there are strong boundaries, an awareness of each others needs, and effort is put to meet these needs. It does not mean the marriage is perfect, but it does mean that you are moving forward in a healthy and whole relationship.

Other person/woman/man – Usually refers to the affair partner of the wayward spouse

D-day – This is the day that the affair is discovered or confessed

Extraordinary precautions – These are safeguards put into place to protect the marriage and help restore trust, for example, not having opposite sex close friends or deleting a facebook account if the affair was conducted via facebook, etc.

Emotional affair
- An affair where your emotional needs are met by someone other than your spouse, admiration, affection etc.

Physical affair - An affair that involves romantic physical contact. Can be physical without actually having intercourse

Thunderdome – A forum area of MA dedicated to discussing controversial subjects in a freer and more “blunt” manner

Carport - An area of MA that afford the poster some additional privacy but still gives others an opportunity to help and support

Peer counselling – The collaboration of other forum members in an effort to listen to, help, support, and advise those who request help

Trigger – An event, action, or even object that causes a memory or emotional response – for example, seeing a red car might remind one of the affair partner’s vehicle, or valentine’s Day might remind one of a time when a spouse was away from the marriage instead of home, etc.

Protected Boards
- The Waystation and The Carport. The terms of service agreement is much more stringently upheld, and has some variations compared to the general boards.

Meta Discussion - A discussion whose subject is a discussion. Meta-discussion explores such issues as the style of a discussion, its participants, the setting in which the discussion occurs, and the relationship of the discussion to other discussions on the same or different topics.

Alien - Idiom describing the self-absorbed, cold, often nasty stranger who seems to have taken over your spouse's mind and body when he/she is involved in an affair.

Fog - The dysfunctional state of mind evidenced by someone having an affair. Also: BS fog - the dysfunctional state of mind sometimes evidenced by those who have just discovered their spouse's affair.

Acrynom Definition Thread

Last edited by lildoggie; 10/12/11 08:23 PM. Reason: Updating