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And she feels guilty that she wasn't such a great wife to me.
That is wishful thinking on your part. Your wife has a Cluster B personality disorder. Back in May she was basically saying that for 28 years she has been settling for you.
It makes me angry that there are so many women like your wife out there. They give themselves permission to not get their shinola together. But on the other hand, if the men out there would stop having relationships with them, the numbers of disordered women would naturally go down. It's our fault for putting up with it. Young and dumb and horny drives many guys to do stupid things.