There is only one kid here. He is mad at me...or he was last night....because he thinks, feels, maybe rightly so, that I just can’t shut up. But I have asked over and over for it to be dealt with. So what are my options?
He is mad at you because the bond he has a parent/child is stronger than the bond he has as husband/wife. When you attack his kid, he feels you are attacking him.
Being a step-parent is a thankless job most of the time. It seems both you and your husband have struggled with being step-parents. I'm worried the resentment over kids will shift solely to your marriage after his kid finally moves out. It's been the routine in your family for so long, it will be hard to let go.
But what do I know?
We aren’t getting a divorce. We don’t want a divorce. From what I hear from my friends this is common in intact families with young adults. The only real solution is for these kids to move out and start their own life. And it needs to happen without anger and resentment . Dhs sister told me by the time her step son moved out she hated him. She specifically said do not let it get to that point.