Category Archives: Relationship Safety & Security

Being The Safe Place For Your Marriage During Infidelity

Shattered Couple

  “Everybody is looking for validation, no matter who you are, and I think that’s a need of the human condition – to look for affection or recognition or validation.” – Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu Being The Safe Place For Your … Continue reading

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For Better Or Worse: Marriage Vows Are For The Hard Times

Married Couple

Several years ago, I wrote an article titled “So Did You Mean It When You Said,” asking if you were serious when you vowed, “For better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health,” and so forth. It remains, … Continue reading

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Save Your Marriage Central: How Making Demands Destroys Love

Couple Arm Wrestling

We all have needs: both physical and emotional. Some of these needs are met through other people, particularly in intimate relationships. We become quickly frustrated when our needs are not met. When our needs are not met for a length … Continue reading

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Marriage Is A Team Sport: Becoming A Team Player

Young Baseball Player Waiting on Sidelines

Are you a team player? Successfully overcoming problems in a marriage is more often than not related to the ability of both spouses to see the marriage as something bigger than either one of them, and even bigger than the … Continue reading

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Boundaries In Marriage – Part I: Couples In Intimate Relationships

Couple On A Crumbling Wall

Boundaries in marriage pose challenges to many. Even as I began to understand Personal Boundaries, I am still stunned by what happens with a couple in a committed relationship.  People constantly tell me that they can get along with anyone except their … Continue reading

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Personal Boundaries – Part VI: When Your Boundaries Conflict With Someone Else’s

Children-fighting-over-teddy-bear-small

“That is my desk. Please leave it alone.” “No, it’s my desk, and I’ll use it whenever I please.” Until now, this series has focused on more clear-cut personal boundaries, including property ownership. But what happens when ownership is shared: more … Continue reading

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Personal Boundaries – Part V: Boundary Position Statements

Referee: Out of Bounds

“That is my desk. Please leave it alone.” “If you do that again, I will leave.” “I will not let myself be treated this way.” Have you ever said these things, or something similar? Most of us have, which is good. … Continue reading

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Personal Boundaries – Part IV: Boundary Attack Awareness

Two Knights Fighting in Front of a Castle

Have you ever felt upset? What about: Angry? Indignant? Frustrated? Resentful? Battered? Agonized? Furious? I think that we all have. These emotions are part of the human experience. They are also signs of a Boundary Invasion. Now that we know what Boundaries … Continue reading

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Personal Boundaries – Part III: The Energy of Boundaries

Closeup-of-angry-hissing-cat

“That doesn’t feel good.” “Dammit, stop that!” “I’m leaving!” Have you ever said any of the above, or something very similar? I think that we all have. These statements are Defending Your Boundaries. How do we choose the appropriate defense … Continue reading

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Personal Boundaries – Part II: Defending Your Boundaries

Roman Legionary Gate Guards

“He keeps crossing my boundary!” “She thinks I’ll put up with this.” “Why do I always let people take advantage of me?” “Why can’t I say no?” “I try to be nice, but all I get in return is more … Continue reading

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